Friday, April 23, 2010

Warning Labels

Gold Bond Anti-Itch lotion needs a warning label: Do not use around cats.

If it had a lable like that, I wouldn't be bleeding from the head. Little Man took a wiff of the lotion when he came up to snuggle, got all crazy, and swiped at my face. I turned away at the last nano-second, so he sliced me right behind my right ear. I supposed that beats having my eye socket excavated.

Alas, let us put the feline blitzkrieging aside. The underlying problem, the reason for Gold Bond being in our home to begin with, is this insatiable itch. All over my body, like a thousand mosquito bites...minus the mosquito bites. At first I thought this was my inevitable punishment for naked housecleaning. Five days and some internet research later, I find posts from thousands of MS patients, telling tales about waking up with bleeding shins, from nights of scratching. They are all describing the "MS-itch", moving all over the body, relentless crawling, bordering on pain.

The internet is a dangerous tool for hypocondriacs, not that I'd ever admit to being one. In fact, I feel that people diagnosed with MS should enjoy immunity from being labled hypocondriacs, because of the nature of their disease. Just because I have MS doesn't mean I won't keel over from a heart attack or stroke. It just means that any strange thing that happens to my being, could be one of two things:

1) It could be MS.
2) It could be something else.

Just to keep things complicated.

I don't think it would be a ridiculous assumption to self-diagnose in this case. This "MS itch" other patients are describing? It fits. It's been four days now and no sign of relief through benadryl or lotions, or cold showers. The solution? To mentally restrain myself from scratching my skin off. Easier said than done.

Tonight! We're going to the Accelerated Cure Project's Hello Stilletto Ball! I'm excited! I have no idea what it's going to be like, but can't wait to find out! I am such a sucker for "Black Tie Optional" events.

So in order to not be an OCD basketcase get crackin' with the to-do list.

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