...and just like that, vision restored. I'm amazed, and once again, grateful.
I made a deal with myself today, and that deal is: to celebrate small victories. I get so mad sometimes (starting to be more and more difficult to blame steroids!), when things are just piling up. Today it was United Airlines. Yesterday it was traffic. Not just "traffic" as such, but the foundation of my irritability stems from feeling compelled when I was just starting to look for income, to take on students that were far away. In the beginning, you kinda just have to take a chance, and go where the students are. So of course I was delighted to get TWO students in this one area, that is approximately an hour away. Two students is not a lot for such a crappy drive, where there is traffic pretty much at all hours. One student, a 30 minute lesson, is arguably not worth the paycheck...Two, made me at least feel better about the wasted gasoline. BUT, not two weeks after getting that second student, the first one informed me that he wanted to take the summer off. So there I am, driving an hour or sometimes more, for a 30 minute lesson. The worst part is sitting in bumper to bumper traffic the whole time, with nothing to do but mull over the situation.
It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling out of control, and feeling depressed, while feeling sorry for my own "bad luck". Because in times when more things than not are being "challenging"...I want to remember the things that ARE working, and that are going well. I AM getting students that like me. And that is step one. Step two, is getting them to like me enough, that when fall comes they will prioritize the lesson to the point of being flexible with days of the week. That way, I can at least TRY to consolidate the far away students, and maybe save a penny or two by only driving once or twice a week to these areas.
My neurologist's office called today, to tell me that the doctor has filled out the parking placard form that I sent her. I wasn't sure she'd do it, because maybe I'm not "disabled" enough. But after these past few weeks, I think I've figured out that it is not about being incapacitated. It's about overcoming the simple things that due to a condition can suddenly, and without warning become huge obstacles. Looking back less than a month, there were enough days where I felt like I couldn't make it to the kitchen, let alone the postoffice, or grocery store. Every activity needed to be preceeded by a nap. :-( That is another decision I've reached - it's ok to have a disabled parking placard. It's for my own good, so that I can have it handy when I need it. The victory - having a neurologist that listens, and is actually helpful.
Lauren told me today that she and the puppy school ladies are throwing me a Bridal Shower! How exciting is THAT?? I feel so super lucky to have found such great friends in the relatively short time we've lived in MA. All the fun wedding stuff is starting to happen, which means we're getting close! 64 days to be exact! It's amazing really how, for every one item crossed off the to-do list, three new items appear. Be systematic, Ann. Be systematic. You've made it this far without going crazy...(sorta, depending on who you ask? So...just don't ask Terence...?) I'm practically broke from the preparations, and dreading the due dates for the MRI bill, the ER bill...they are enormous. And somehow, I need to have substantial money left over to switch over to a new car insurance by August 12th.
I am having a hard time with Terence's new schedule. I mean, when I say I'm having a "hard time", I really just mean that it's a bigger adjustment than I anticipated. His schedule hasn't been really clear up to this point, just a lot of overnights. It sounded pretty good at first, but one has to consider that pretty much the whole next day is spent sleeping. I get up when he is just coming home, and then he gets up around the time I am going to teach. On paper, it seems exciting, but in reality it is definitely a challenge to have him not have predictable hours. I purposefully avoided and turned down quite a few students to make sure I was making enough time, and saving the weekends to spend with Terence. But two out of 4 weekends he isn't going to be around. Which is fine...but do I take the students now? They'd be EVERY saturday. I guess that is the issue when one person has a set schedule, and one has the opposite of a set schedule. I really hope he can be happy at this job. It has been such a long road of internships and terrible working conditions, that he really deserves to feel secure and settled with a decent paycheck to boot. It has to be extremely challenging to come from a series of internships where you're constantly being told things aren't good enough (because you're being TAUGHT, supposedly), to a position where you are a peer, an expert. I'd imagine it's a tightrope walk between humility(not overstating experience and expertise) and assertiveness (using what you know with confidence, and realizing you deserve respect.) I am so proud of him for getting himself to where he is today. I have a nagging feeling (even from before) that the clinic itself may not be as organized as they should be. They did string him along for way too long before making the offer, making it hard to remain professional with the other job offers. I don't trust them entirely, but I am sure Terence can make it all work out. He's good like that! :-)
Alton Brown is chopping a red onion. It looks very very awkward. Now he's chopping a garlic clove. That looks strange too. He kinda looks like he's never done this before.
Tomorrow, I shall tackle United Airlines again. They made me buy a trip I didn't want with my mileage points. And so I want to cancel it. And they want to charge me $150 bucks...for my FREE trip. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If they really won't budge, I simply won't be showing up for my flight, since that is the only truly free option they are giving me! I already booked a JetBlue flight for myself and Amelia. Which reminds me, I need to call JetBlue and let them know she is coming on the plane with me. I am very curious how she'll do! Hopefully she will be just as lazy and sleepy as she always is.